My dad used to tell me, “Make it happen, Doll Babe.”
So that’s how I lived my life. I strategized. I hustled. I made it happen.
But . . . in some realms of life, we can’t make it happen.
Like with love.
I certainly didn’t plan to meander around the dating scene for 27 years—according to my timeline, I was supposed to be married at 29.
Most self-help books tell us that if we’re single longer than we planned to be, we must be doing something horribly wrong or we’re fundamentally flawed, and until we straighten up, we’ll never find love.
(My book does NOT espouse that, by the way. My book’s message is the exact opposite, in fact!)
But I’ll admit it, sometimes I wondered if maybe I was messing everything up.
It’s easy to come to this conclusion—especially when we’ve been able to achieve our other life goals through determination and hustle.
We’ve made everything else happen, why can’t we make love work?
But that’s the thing about love, we can’t “make it work.”
We can’t make it materialize.
We can’t hurry love.
I came across this Joseph Campbell quote in my late twenties.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
It was such a foreign philosophy for a girl accustomed to making things happen.
But it was exactly what I needed.
We delve into this and more on the You Can’t Hurry Love episode of Love & Life. I interview Treva Brandon Scharf aka The Late Blooming Bride and Chip Gregory, a late blooming groom. We discuss the questions we all ponder when love takes a while to show up:
Are my “issues” keeping me from finding The One?
Is it true that “timing is everything?”
Am I too picky?
Are my expectations unrealistic?
Can I be happy if I never find love?